


Five Nights In The Group Chat

by Goober826



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Gen, Group chat, and stupid dirty jokes, and this is prolly canon in my au ngl, chat fic, its literally just a shitty group chat and i love this, michael and bots, other than that its p pure, theres also mention of injuries but thats to be expected, theres some swearing and drug jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 12:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17808290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goober826/pseuds/Goober826
Summary: Basically a group chat fic- canon to the Michael and Bots au. They're all just stupid and I love them.





	1. Freddy and co. say GAY RIGHTS!!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is so stupid and i adore it thanks

Freddy= Freddy. 

Bonnie= GuitarHero666

Chica= Lets Eat Pussy Babe! 

Foxy= MOVE IM GAY 

Goldie= Pacifist 

Puppet= Mother 

Baby= Let’s Go Lesbians 

Mangle= !!!

Michael= Ragdoll 

Jeremy= Dog Food 

Phone Guy= Hello! 

Henry= H.E. 

  
  
  


11:55 PM

 

Group Chat 

 

**Pacifist** : Hey! Why don’t we ever use this? 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** : OH!!! I forgot about this thing!!!! 

**Freddy.** : It’s because it’s not useful. If we have anything to say to each other we can just say it in person. The only reason Henry programmed a text communication program in our hard drives was just in case he needed to tell us something in secret or while were performing. 

**MOVE IM GAY** : HAHAHAHAHAH AS IF THE SCALLYWAG WOULD TALK TO US!! 

**GuitarHero666** : But consider; we can use it just to talk while performing without being in earshot of each other. 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** : :0!!!!!!

**Pacifist** : You mean I could talk to you guys while you’re busy?? 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** : Yeah!!! 

**MOVE IM GAY** : OH SHIT!!!! 

**Freddy** .: Why does everyone have weird names??? 

**GuitarHero666** : they’re funny 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** : Excuse you, eating pussy is a SERIOUS business. 

**MOVE IM GAY** : KSNFKSNFSJFNEJTN 

**Freddy** .: Foxy, are you glitching out again? 

**MOVE IM GAY** : Nah you fuckin fishbrain im keyboard mashing!!! 

**Freddy** .: you’re what 

**GuitarHero666** : dnfjefnejtnrjsj

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : dggfkrtjierke

**Pacifist** : aldogospgrkjg

**Freddy** .: you’re all morons. 

  
  


12:00 AM 

 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** : SUNDAY NIGHT!!! NO NIGHTGUARD!!!! :D 

**MOVE IM GAY** : LETS BREAK SOMETHING 

**Freddy** .: Please stop acting like children. 

**Pacifist** : Hey!!! We should add Em to this chat! Isn’t she not a part of the server we run on, technically? 

**Mother** : I’m in this chat. 

**GuitarHero666** : oh fucj

**MOVE IM GAY** : OH FUCK 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : Oh Fuck!!!! 

**Freddy** .: Would you all stop cussing??? We’re children’s robots, for God’s sake. 

**Pacifist** : Oh heck!!!!! 

**Freddy** .: Nevermind you can cuss. 

**Pacifist** : Hey!!! Em!!!! How long have you been reading these without telling us??

**Mother** : This whole time! 

**Pacifist** : WOAH!!!! 

**MOVE IM GAY** : YOU BE FUCKIN SPYIN ON US!? 

**Mother** : You say that like I don’t constantly witness your dumb shit. 

**Mother** : For example- Foxy I just heard you dare Bonnie to hit you with his guitar. 

**MOVE IM GAY** : DO IT YA SCALLYWAG NO BALLS!!!!!!! 

**Mother** : Bonnie has his head in his hands in shame. He’s trying not to laugh. 

**Mother** : Hes now looking for me in the room. 

**GuitarHero666** : yah uh where the hell are you!? 

**Mother** : I’ll never tell. 

**Pacifist** : She likes to hide in the different Freddy heads and stalk people through the eye holes!! :D 

**Mother** : Goldie I love you but shut the fuck up. 

**MOVE IM GAY** : HAHAHAHAHA

**MOVE IM GAY** : BONNIE FOUND THE HEAD SHE WAS IN AND FUCKIN YEETED HER AT THE WALL! 

**GuitarHero666** : Press F to pay respects. 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : F 

**MOVE IM GAY** : F 

**Pacifist** : F 

**GuitarHero666** : F 

**Mother** : F 

**Freddy** .: Did you just pay your own respects 

**Mother** : self care

  
  


4:20 AM 

 

**GuitarHero666** : Haha guys look it’s the funny weed time 

**Mother** : haha nice 

**MOVE IM GAY** : HAHA SICK M8!!!

**Goldie** : Uh! What’s weed??

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : Yeah, I also want to know!! 

**Freddy** .: Oh no

**GuitarHero666** : oh no

**MOVE IM GAY** : OH NO 

**Mother** : Oh no

  
  


6:00 AM 

 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : AWE IT'S TIME TO GO BACK TO WORK...

**MOVE IM GAY** : HAH! JOKES ON YA SCALLYWAGS I DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT! 

**Freddy** .: isn’t that worse than getting to move around and...you know. Socialize?

**MOVE IM GAY** : AWFULLY BOLD OF YA  TO ASSUME I HAVE ANY SOCIAL ABILITIES! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!** : Foxy I literally just saw you laying on top of Bonnie with a lovey dumb grin on your face… 

**MOVE IM GAY** : THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION TO ANYONE I LIKE AND THAT IS BONNIE 

**Pacifist** : What about the rest of us?? ): 

**MOVE IM GAY** : I TOLERATE YA!!! 

**Pacifist** : That’s good enough for me! 

**GuitarHero666** : Goldie your low standards scare me. 

  
  


4:20 PM 

 

**MOVE IM GAY** : HEHEH!! 

**GuitarHero666** : Nice 

**Freddy** .: Foxy, why do you always type in caps? 

**MOVE IM GAY** : FUCK YOU THATS WHY!!! 

**Mother** : Wow I’m proud of my son? 

  
  


10:00 PM 

 

**GuitarHero666** : JESUS CHRIST FINALLY WE’RE CLOSED!!! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe** !: Yeah but Michaels gonna be here soon…): 

**Pacifist** : Mikey!!!!! 

**MOVE IM GAY** : WE GET IT, YA HAVE A LIVIN FAMILY MEMBER. 

**Pacifist** : Michaels wonderful! You guys are just mean >:( 

**Mother** : I have to agree with Goldie. He’s never done anything to harm us. 

**GuitarHero666** : Well… 

**Freddy** .: Let’s drop this subject, please. 

**MOVE IM GAY** : COWARD! 

**Mother** : Anywho. I’ve found out a way how to hack things into this server. 

**Freddy** .: Such as?

 

**Let’s Go Lesbians** has joined the chat! 

 

**Let’s Go Lesbians: ~** Slides into these DMs~

**Pacifist:** :0!!!! BABY!!! 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** Hello Goldie!!! ^^ 

**Mother:** !!! BABE YOURE GONNA COME IN HERE WITHOUT SAYING HI TO ME FIRST!? 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY I LOVE YOU???????? 

**Mother:** <3<3<3

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** <3<3<3!!! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe:** GAY!!! 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** I see we are matching, Chica! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe:** SOLIDARITY! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** AHEM!!! 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** OH MY GOSH!!! WLW MLM SOLIDARITY!!! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe:** SOLIDARITY!!! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** SOLIDARITY!!! 

**Mother:** SOLIDARITY!!!! 

**Freddy.:** I regret asking Em to explain what she meant by “hacking”... 


	2. Zombie Time!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddy.: I get migraines. I don’t like walking around with the lights on.   
> Ragdoll: Oh!!! That’s why you come after me when the power's out, haha ;; I thought you were just super smart!! I couldn’t see you at all when you broke my ribs that one time!!   
> GuitarHero666: What?   
> Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!: What?!   
> MOVE IM GAY: WHAT  
> Pacifist: What?!?!  
> Let’s Go Lesbians: WHAT?!?!?   
> Mother: Oh. You got it checked out after?   
> Ragdoll: Jeremy just kinda did an exam on me and figured it out ;;   
> Freddy.: I can explain.   
> Let’s Go Lesbians: UM. YOU BETTER???  
> Freddy.: Okay actually honestly I can’t I really have no other justification except for after the power went out I slammed him into a wall and snapped a few ribs.   
> GuitarHero666: Several People Are Typing   
> -  
> The chapter where Michael shows up and Freddy somehow proves to be even more of a dick

12:00 PM 

 

**MOVE IM GAY:** BONNIE GO TELL HIM HE'S FAKE AND GAY!!! 

**GuitarHero666:** ON IT! 

**Freddy.:** Please take this seriously. 

**MOVE IM GAY:** IF YER SO SERIOUS ‘BOUT IT GO KILL HIM YOURSELF!! 

**Freddy.:** The bright lights on the security cameras give me migraines. I’ve told you this. 

**MOVE IM GAY:** WEAK BITCH, BLOCKED. 

**Pacifist:** DoNT block him!!!!! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** I DIDN'T IT IS A JOKE M8 

**Pacifist:** Oh good!!! Also hi Bonnie! I see you in the window. You scared Michael a bit! 

**Pacifist** : Oh Nevermind bye ): 

**MOVE IM GAY:** DID YOU SAY IT!? 

**GuitarHero666** : Honestly I literally panicked and stammered and then the door closed. 

**MOVE IM GAY:** GOD DAMMIT BONNIE!!

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** F :( 

**Mother:** F. 

**Freddy.:** It’s been a whole like...six months and you guys haven’t at all tried to crack down on killing him. 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** Wait, you’re still serious about wanting to stuff him? 

**Freddy.:** Uh. Yes? 

**MOVE IM GAY:** AHAHAHAHAHAH M8 WE GAVE UP ON THAT AFTER LIKE THREE WEEKS

**GuitarHero666:** Once Goldie started hanging out with him we just kinda decided it was over. 

**Freddy.:** Then why the hell do you still attack him!? 

**GuitarHero666:** ...uh. 

**MOVE IM GAY:** GOOD QUESTION. 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** it’s like a fun game? 

**Pacifist:** SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SCARING HIM FOR NO REASON?! >:( 

**MOVE IM GAY:** ITS FUNNY 

**Pacifist:** HE'S SCARED YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** Oops… 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** I have a solution. 

**Pacifist:** Oh? :0 

 

**Ragdoll** has joined the chat! 

 

**Pacifist:** :0!!!!!!! 

**GuitarHero666:** oh fuck 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Baby!:** Oh fuck!! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** OH FUCK 

**Mother:** I learned how to hack cell phones ;) 

**Ragdoll:** Uhm!!!! What the fuck!! 

**Pacifist:** HI MICHAEL!!!!!!!! 

**Ragdoll:** Cass I’m...right next to you. 

**Freddy.:** Em I don’t like this and I want you to remove him. 

**Ragdoll:** :( 

**MOVE IM GAY:** YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING IN THIS CHAT? 

**Ragdoll:** I wasn’t!!! I was just startled that’s all! 

**Ragdoll:** ...is it true you guys don’t want to hurt me anymore…? 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** Yeah! 

**GuitarHero666:** Tbh? Yeah. 

**MOVE IM GAY:** We got bored of it! 

**Freddy.:** No. 

**Ragdoll:** that's… Three out of four of you that don’t want to kill me!! :D

**GuitarHero666:** HOW ARE HIS STANDARDS LOWER THAN GOLDIES… 

**Ragdoll:** Ah! I don’t really care much about what happens to me since I know I’m pretty much worthless, haha ^^ 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** Jesus Christ 

**Pacifist:** YOU'RE NOT WORTHLESS!!!!! >:( STOP SAYING THAT 

**Ragdoll:** :c 

**Mother:** Michael I can and WILL give you affection and self esteem. 

**Ragdoll:** I’m good! I don’t really deserve it ;; 

**Ragdoll:** Sorry! I’m rambling!! This is the first time you guys haven’t tried to kill me and you’re all fun to talk to! Can I get a read on who everyone is? The names are a bit confusing ;; 

**Freddy.:** Fazbear. 

**GuitarHero666:** Bonnie! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** Chica!! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** FOXY!!! 

**Mother:** Em! 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** Baby! 

**Pacifist:** Goldie!!! 

**Ragdoll:** Oh!! Cool!! Good names, everyone!!! 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** Speaking of names, what’s up with your screenname? 

**Ragdoll:** Ah, it’s something Scott and Jeremy call me, sometimes!!! I like to think of it as more of a reclaiming thing towards my past or whatever!! Plus ragdolls have a good aesthetic… 

**Ragdoll:** Goddammit I’m rambling again…!!! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** You’re Fine!! ^^ 

 

3:00 AM 

 

**GuitarHero666:** No offense but...can’t help but notice you’re still checking the cameras, bud. 

**Ragdoll:** Sorry, Sorry!!!!!!! I’m just anxious, haha! 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** Did you not trust our promise that we don’t want to hurt you? 

**Ragdoll:** No I trust you! I’m just nervous about everything, haha...not to mention there’s no harm in double checking to make sure! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** I DON'T THINK THE LAD TRUSTS US!! 

**Ragdoll:** I’m so sorry ;; 

**Mother:** No offense, but did you all really expect him to trust you after months of you coming after him? 

**Pacifist:** Also Freddy said he still wants to hurt him :(    
**Freddy.:** I won’t come after you. 

**Ragdoll:** You wont??? 

**Freddy.:** I get migraines. I don’t like walking around with the lights on. 

**Ragdoll:** Oh!!! That’s why you come after me when the power's out, haha ;; I thought you were just super smart!! I couldn’t see you at all when you broke my ribs that one time!!    
**GuitarHero666:** What?    
**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** What?! 

**MOVE IM GAY:** WHAT

**Pacifist:** What?!?!

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** WHAT?!?!?    
**Mother:** Oh. You got it checked out after? 

**Ragdoll:** Jeremy just kinda did an exam on me and figured it out ;; 

**Freddy.:** I can explain. 

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** UM. YOU BETTER???

**Freddy.:** Okay actually honestly I can’t I really have no other justification except for after the power went out I slammed him into a wall and snapped a few ribs. 

**GuitarHero666:** Several People Are Typing 

**MOVE IM GAY:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Let’s Go Lesbians:** FREDDY THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU 

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** FREDDY WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

**Mother:** You still, honestly disgust me 

**Pacifist:** FREDDYYYY >:( 

**Ragdoll:** Ah!! It’s okay it’s okay I promise!!! ;;;; I’m sorry haha

**Let’s Eat Pussy Babe!:** WHY’RE YOU APOLOGIZING 

**Ragdoll:** I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW

**Freddy.:** In my defense, he was the one to run out of power.


End file.
